The Colonel Sassacre Sprite is a sprite version of the Homestuck character Colonel Sassacre. The Colonel has some heartwarming dialog and cosmetically changes a few opponents.

Upon starting a conversation:

What the Dickens is going on here? I appear to be a most singular form of spirit! An ethereal tail, a peculiarly colorful complexion, and my current presence in a strange and mysterious abode! Child, have you done this?

If the player responds with ">Yes. I am the prankster.":

By gum, you're a genius! I commend your extravagant jape, young friend. Har har har! ... But the joke is now over, and while a good laugh and chuckle has been had by all, I would like to return to the safety and familiarity of my body. Would you be so kind as to do so? ...Wait just a moment! By Poe, I seem to understand now, what is occurring. It seems as though this was no kerfuffle! Nay, this is a path to destiny! A path you will walk alone, child! Once again, the responsibility to raise a child in an unforgiving world has befallen on my weary shoulders. But my shoulders have not buckled to the weight of the world just yet! Au contraire, my friend, they are reinvigorated and prepared to face the world once again! I feel alive again! Thank you, child, for pulling me out from the land of the dead. I shall be by your side.

If the player responds with ">I don't know what you're talking about."

What do you take me for? A fool? A common man? A plebeian on which you unleash your arsenal of japes and jokes? Be wise, friend, you are dealing with the master of comedy, the lord of japery, the king of pranksterism of all shapes and forms! Nothing gets past this noggin, no sir! I commend your attempt, but know it was all for naught! I shall... Umm... One moment... ... ...I see. The curtain has been drawn, friend, and a joke this isn't! No, this is business, of the serious nature. It seems this preternatural form has provided me with information, of this realm and of you. By jove, you are heading for something big, my friend. And I will be there for you every step of the way. The exact nature of your goal, I cannot reveal to you. After all, no true magician reveals his secrets, and what is a comedian, if not an illusionist of the mind?

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